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The Training Baby

 by: Ieuan Dolby

My kid is only 6months old, yet he has taught me more than I have ever learnt in the last ten years of supposed life’s experience. It is amazing really, that one so young can teach so much, that a ball of squeaking immaturity can give and educate others who are theoretically so much wiser and more learned than an ‘incy’ bit of life that has just popped its head out for a look.

I mean he has taught me nothing startling like quantum physics or rocket science just simple things, an increased awareness of what is around me and a much better understanding of life and how people think and operate as they do! I have over the last twenty years made a career for myself in Marine Engineering, with Diplomas, certificates and degrees falling out of my ears and all backed up by a wealth of hands on experience. But all of this background was so pointless when faced with the pram that we bought!

What is a pram? A pram is a perambulator, a four wheeled vehicle for a baby pushed by one on foot”! Nothing startling there! What my son taught me was that nothing is what it seems in life and that you can have all the certificates in the world but they don’t help with prams! This thing that we purchased was so technologically advanced that it took me three weeks to figure out how to raise the seat! Eiffel and his Tower, Edison and his Light Bulb or even Ferris and his Wheel had nothing on this “Combi” invention! A fully-equipped mean machine, an all-terrain off-the road and all weather state of art vehicular transport that could fold up into handbag dimensions, perform to 80% even with flats on any two of its eight wheels and turn a circle on a dime (for this last action all wheels do have to be at peak performance). It weighed less than two kilos could shrink or expand to suit the size of baby it would carry and it was multi-directional (the baby could be pushed forwards or backwards with the flick of a switch).

After three weeks of trying to assemble the thing I eventually got it in motion. Unfortunately I was so afraid of the thing collapsing with the baby inside that I went out and bought a four wheeled monstrosity that was un-collapsible, omni-directional and could do not much more than be pushed strenuously along the road with a baby inside. It also meant that I didn’t have to carry a puncture repair kit with me!

So however educated and knowledgeable a person is: not all is as straightforward as it seems!

I love my son. He is such a character full of life and energy, full of cheek and smile!   (continued...)

The Training Baby
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About The Author

Ieuan Dolby - Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy he has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.